I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
