You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
