yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
