You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
