Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
