Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
