this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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