i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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