You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
