oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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