no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
