thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
