All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
