omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
