If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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