im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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