stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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