my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
