You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
high people should be assigned attendants
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
