I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
