My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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