I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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