sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
