Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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