TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
