I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
