I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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