we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
