i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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