I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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