i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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