I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
