Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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