I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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