so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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