you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
