so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
