I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
