escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
