new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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