she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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