Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
