I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
