Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
