dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
