You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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