I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
