North Korea, Best Korea!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
