she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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