I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
