She is in my trunk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
